According to James Carse, Professor Emeritus at NYU, there are three kinds of ignorance: ordinary ignorance, willful ignorance, and higher ignorance. The first is the very essence of learning — you move from unknowing to knowing — like learning history, science, facts and trivia. The second type, willful ignorance, is when you know something but choose to pretend you do not. The third type of ignorance is lofty in scope and hard to achieve — it is a reverence for the unknown — for mystery — or what may be unknowable.

The other night I discovered a new game for the ‘over 50′ crowd. I was at a dinner party and a group of us were chatting about who knows what when suddenly I was trying to remember the name of the actor who starred in a 1970s (or ’80s) television cop show and had not too long ago been on trial for killing his wife.

I found myself saying words the other day that shocked me. “I’m not seeking right now” were in response to a friend’s questioning me about my interest (or lack thereof) in meeting her friend, a South American shaman who guides people in self-investigation.

I just spent the week with Sookie Stackhouse in Bon Temps, Louisiana. I had never seen an episode of True Blood until six days ago when I watched episode 1 season 1 on HBO GO on my iPad. Yesterday, I left Sookie screaming in the finale of Season 4.

My days of ‘hands-on’ parenting (the parenting that takes place between infancy and
21 years of age or so) are over. Our youngest of three kids just turned 21 leaving my husband and I in a new ‘phase’ of life. The all consuming enterprise of hands-on
parenting changes radically when adult children take over the helm of their own vessels
to travel through life.

The other day a friend told me a peculiar phenomenon: take your birthyear (e.g., 1955=55) and add it to your age (you will be this year, eg. 56); they will always add up to 111. My friends tried it and it was true. I knew the math behind it was simple, but my friend’s interpretation was on a very different plane: “See how we are all interconnected — we are all 111.” She’s a very spiritual and beautiful person — fun-loving, an artist and world traveler, completely compassionate and giving in life. If everyone shared her passion for life and kindness the world would be a kinder place. On the other hand, she’s not that grounded in science and sometimes takes “rational facts” as magical or spiritual.

Our three children are now in their 20s and exploring the diverse roads of life. By that I mean they are making decisions about whether to go to graduate school, what jobs to seek, and what career trajectories they might pursue. It is a time of decision-making, but unlike decisions of the past, these are made on their own — with requested parental input pondered, but decisions resting solely on their shoulders. And I see how such decisions weigh heavily upon them at times.

With the holidays approaching, many of us travel to be among our families, distant in physical proximity so often today. As we do, it may be worthwhile to ponder the foundation of family.